All posts tagged: relationship

REJECTED.

I’m gonna start this post by saying that I love my kids, BUT… I love my kids but sometimes I question if they love me back. Never is this more pronounced than school holidays, when my teacher husband is home for great chunks of time and there is the wonderful expectation of family time, of the house buzzing with fun and memory-making. My heart aches a little as I write this. The truth is that my kids are so enamoured of their father that school holidays are a bit painful for me. By the end, I feel rather battered by the constant rejection. I joke about it with friends, but they know there is some hurt in my banter of being able to leave the kids with dad, not a care in the world, no clingers-on, no tears, no “I want mummy!” Come here darling, I say, let me put on your shoes. “No! Daddy do it.” Would you like to come and do the groceries, just you and me? “Is daddy going?” No. “No …

Come Back to the Table

Our dining table was bought at an auction – Baltic pine top with turned wooden legs painted gloss black. People say it has character. Maybe that’s just a nice way of saying it’s old and tired, but I don’t mind. What appealed to me as I circumnavigated the eight-seater on the concrete floor of the auction house was the raw timber marked with knots, scratches, nail heads and indentations. It was like looking at the flotsam of many meals shared. I liked the thought that we could add our own marks to this table – and we have. There’s a splotch of red paint from the time my son loaded his brush to outline a fierce dinosaur on butchers paper. There are subtle impressions from the many times I have written shopping lists and letters. There are crumbs in the cracks and circular watermarks, coffee marks, wine marks. Secretly, I hope our kids will engrave their initials in it someday. Of all the pieces of furniture in the home, the table is perhaps the most …

The Faith Test

Are you married? Relationships are complex arrangements but they are also definitive. You’re either married, or you’re not. You’re a mother, or you’re not. You’re a brother, or you’re not.  I guess some things really are still black and white. If I were to ask if you were married, I wouldn’t expect you to humm and harr before offering:  “I’m not sure…”, “maybe…”, “I was a long time ago…” or “it depends…”  You would fire back an answer within a few seconds – perhaps with a qualifier or two – but a definitive answer all the same. Yet here’s a relationship question that still provokes greyscale answers: Are you a Christian? It’s not a trick question. ‘Christian’ simply means follower of Christ; one who has a relationship with Jesus. Like any ‘earthly’ relationship, there are complexities – doubts, times of intimacy or distance, conflict and confusion. These are part of any relationship, part of testing it and making it stronger, yet when asked THAT question, it’s not uncommon for the response to be, “I’m not …

Don’t Read This if You’re Squeamish About Blood and Head Wounds

One of my readers told me this true story. It was a Thursday like any other and the main characters in this tale, let’s call them John and Jane, were pottering about their home.  The retired couple, although in their early 80s, are fit and healthy and relish staying active, so it was not unusual for them to be up at the break of day.  It was unusual, however, when John came back from collecting the newspaper calling Jane’s name with a blood-soaked handkerchief held to his head. “I’ve had a dreadful accident,” he said. When John lost his footing, his cranium made contact with a terracotta pot, lacerating his temple artery and causing a jagged gash to his crown.  The blood flow would not be stemmed, so their son rushed the couple to the hospital’s emergency section for some stitches and a check over (before proceeding to take photos on his iPhone and sending the grisly shots to his siblings, I might add!). They were home by 10am and Jane picked up an Australia …