This article is part of the #flamfaces series.
Say hello to Sarah Haberle of Launceston.
My life is a tapestry of God’s love – He has been present throughout every challenge, hardship and joy. I have experienced miracles and bear testimony to the truth that Jesus is alive.
My early and late teenage years were up and down times – one minute Jesus was my everything, the next I was enjoying a life spent completely on myself and on whatever I wanted to do.
One night, I was out at a pub. It was around 1am and I suddenly felt myself snap into the sober. I looked around the room and realised I hardly knew these ‘friends’ and just as suddenly I knew I was done with a life of emptiness without Jesus. I drove to a friend’s house at 2am and they welcomed me, clothed me and held me as I cried and made the decision to leave that life behind for good and choose Jesus and His love.
God is always, always, with me
I grew up as a pastor’s kid where often meals were daily miracles. I saw someone gain their sight on a mission trip in Vanuatu, so many healings, and witnessed exact amounts of money that were needed mysteriously show up at the door.
Becoming a mother takes faith to another level – trusting Jesus with their little lives. For me I see trusting God as not so much trusting He will do everything I hope for, but knowing that no matter what happens He is ALWAYS going to be with me. When I call to Him, He is already with me.
Walking through the last couple of years with a husband suffering severe anxiety and grief with his brother passing away suddenly; this has tested my faith more than any other experience. To truly trust when you can’t see where you are headed is the crux of this relationship with Jesus. So many times I have sat and cried in despair and called out to Him. I have seen Him turn circumstances around where there seemed no hope, no future. Discovering God’s peace ‘in the storm’ is indeed a great challenge.
Finding self-worth in Jesus
Since I was a teenager I have struggled with self worth and where to find it. I experienced a sexual assault in my late teens that set me on a path of finding self worth in what people thought of me, how I looked and sex. The healing I have received through prayer over the last years has completely turned my life around and enabled me to be able to talk openly and help others. I won’t lie… it is still something I have to remind myself on a daily basis – my self worth and value is in Jesus and what He says I am.
I love the song by Hillsong United, Even When it Hurts.
“I will always sing your praise… and I will sing until the miracle comes”.
It can feel like a constant battle to listen and read about what God says about me – that I am valued and loved.
Learning to rest
A big revelation for me over the last six months has been to slow down, to learn to rest, to be completely guided by Jesus. This can be very hard with three little children, our own business that consumes our lives, and a husband who is away at least 2-3 nights of the week.
Nearly every day I say to Him, “Lord, I am trusting you completely in this, it is out of my hands, only you can act right now.”
I feel so peaceful when I trust Him, but often I choose to leave that peace behind and straight away the panic sets in and I realise how many balls are being juggled. I can’t do it without Him (and stay sane and rested!).
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”